My child,
You are the framework of constellations and bold asteroids. I created you with intention, dear sunflower, you are my beautiful design. This world will fill you with trouble and you will suffer for my namesake, but I will be with you, my sunshine, and I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will fight for you ceaselessly, and travel great lengths to cherish your heart because I love you, I love you, I love you, sweet child.
I AM NOT OKAY today, God. i am not okay today--and today i am a product of stretch marks and extra skin, i am full of self-hatred and insecurity, jealousy for the things i want but cannot have. bitterness consumes me because i will never be good enough.
I AM NOT OKAY today, God. i am not okay today--and today i crossed my boundaries. today i gave away too much of myself, i put my worth in men and i looked for Your love in his, i found empty intimacy instead. i am clothed in shame and regret.
I AM NOT OKAY today, God. i am not okay today--and today the weight of my circumstances choked me like chains and my burdens felt too heavy to carry. this winter is long, and my suffering is painful. i wept today, for i have no hope.
I AM NOT OKAY TODAY, GOD. i am exhausted, i am burdened, and my heart is hardened. i am weak, i am troubled, i am alone. how can i say that you have not left me nor forsaken me when i feel like you’ve done both? what do you have to say about my pain, God?
My child,
Though I have made you see troubles, many and bitter, I will restore your life again; from the depths of the Earth I will again bring you up (psalm 71:20). I will create in you a pure heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within you (psalm 51:10). I am your shepherd, and I refresh your soul. Even though you walk through the darkest valley, I am with you (Psalm 23). I am within you, you will not fall: I am your help at the break of day (psalm 46:5). I will endure as long as the sun, as long as the moon, through all generations (psalm 72:5). Even the darkness will not be dark to me, the night will shine like the day, for the darkness is light to me (psalm 139:12). My love endures forever (psalm 136:1).
